Ok so the logical side of my brain requires me to tell you that they're actually teeny tiny baby garden variety spiders. And they didn't actually attack, but I'm sure given the chance they would have. That big clump of matter to the left of the chair leg in the picture isn't garden debris at all but a dense thick, squirming, writhing mass of baby spiders. Must be over a million there. Or at least a couple thousand. Which is a couple thousand too many. Pathetic? Absolutely. Nonsensical? Yup. Harmless? I'm sure they are but some primitive fear center in my brain disagrees.
I have faced down a nosy coyote with just a stick and loud voice. I've gone tromping after a raccoon in just my pj's and rubber boots, demanding it unhand the food it took from my larder. I even made friends of dozens of feral dogs in both Mexico and Greece with absolutely no fear. Wanna send me scampering? Spiders are it. So I'm hiding out in my bedroom with my laptop on this blessing of a sunny wonderful day while my daddy finds a can of raid. Real brave huh?